Phil is a really great roommate to have. Not only does he clean dishes about 90% of the time, he also is a pretty insightful person and really helps me iron out ideas about myself and others.
Yesterday, Jessica, Judy, Phil, Ivan, Christine and myself were all over at "the place" doing our thing and watching the game. Philip as usual was upstairs not participating in the gaming festivities seeing as he would rather send his rectum through a meat grinder than sit through sixty minutes of hockey.
Philip aside, Christine was also missing out as she was downstairs on her lonesome playing everyone's favourite MMO, the World of Warcraft.
Ok, so the game ends and five of us, (all but Christine) go out for jokes and BBT.
So the question arises, "why didn't Christine join us?" So I call her to say hi, she doesn't answer, but then calls back to let me know she is upstairs watching the rest of the game.
We are all left really confused that when we all finally left that she would be interested in watching hockey. So I did a little sleuth work and asked her what was wrong.
Well, a long story short, Christine in spite of all her parents short-comings has a family close at hand and has a secure network.
Those of us who left that evening do not. Some have close family geographically (ie. me) who doesn't get along with them at all, and there are those who have close family emotionally, but don't get to see them often.
What this lead to was me wondering what exactly my friends mean to me. Upon further review, (with Philip's guidance) I have come to the conclusion that some of the friends I have fill voids that were/are completely absent from my life that was never provided for in my immediate family. I took this idea to Christine and she confirmed that between myself and her family she feels like she needs no one. For me, if my friends were to leave me, I would be crushed, they are the what holds me together, and I guess in a way it really sucks. Why does it suck? Because it needs to work both ways. Family will always house you and cloth you if you are in the direst of needs, I know I would do this for my closest friends without even having to bat an eyelash. However, I don't know if that love is requited. It leaves me really insecure in knowing my family doesn't have any of my blood to make a bond. It really sucks knowing that in five years time they all may be off doing their own different things and that I might have no one.
Phil called me creepy when I told him I wanted a picture of him, Jess and Christine on my my tallboy/sideboard/computer desk when I am at Western, but I know now that he understands that it would be the equivelant of most people having a mom, dad and sister there.
Weird, weird me. I'm not even sure where I am going with this.
In short, I love my friends, too much for my own good.
